I can't. Once you've got magic, you've got it. Taking it out would kill me. And...we're lost enough magitek knights, either by circumstances or by magic driving them to it. I can't go too.

Besides, I signed up for this thing for life. I don't have anyone at home to go back to. Better me than someone else, right?

[Although his justifications are feeling increasingly hollow to him. The magic, even as it makes him ill, feels increasingly good when he uses it, and the effort it takes to worry about things gets less and less as he learns more and more.]

If I had room for regrets, then I shouldn't have signed up for this...